can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
