I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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