I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
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