I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
