nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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