I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
