i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
