I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
