so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
