elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
