i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
she smelled like a LAN party
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
