Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
