I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize