I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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