Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
