I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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