I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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