I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
