You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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