I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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