he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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