Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize