Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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