didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
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Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
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the gays at disneyland are vicious
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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