Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.