This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
