Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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