the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
