I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I came so hard my ears popped.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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