Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize