A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.