She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
