I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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