can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
