Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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