She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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