Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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