Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
