it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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