honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
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I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize