I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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