so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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