Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize