so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
