U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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