12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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