Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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