My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
