Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
