How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
