remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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