You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
