just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
