you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
there is glitter all over my balls
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
