she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
