You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
