You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
