Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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