butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
