dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
