dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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