I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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