You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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