The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All the doctor said was why
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize