Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
