Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
