ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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